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Dr. Sasuke
and that's how you do a prostate exam. sort of. we had a 3 hour module on testes examining and prostate touching today. it was awesome. apparently, it's not professional to say "i'm going to examine your cock now." it seemed appropriate in fanfiction, why not real life?

hellos, so none of my friends update their friends page anymore. and i haven't for a year, but i will keep with my usual habit of whining copiously about a test before the results come out. because that impresses people, right?

i just finished my 2nd year of medical school. before we advance to 3rd year, where we rotate through different specialties in the hospitals (like surgery, ob/gyn, peds, internal med, etc), we have to take part 1 of our licensing exam. it's called the step 1 or USMLE (but no one fucking smiles about it) and it was even harder than the mcat. i thought once i got into med school, it'd be smooth(er) sailing than undergrad.. omg so delusional. :(



they let us out of class in may to study about 6 weeks for that test. it was basically the first 2 years of medical school plus bunch of other crap tested. this was my bible for 6 weeks, and i'm not even christian. but people have been pronouncing my name as christian though, it's very weird most people try to read/memorize that book 2-3 times and finish a question bank (of 2000 questions). annnnnd, i read the book 1.5 times and finished 80% of the qbank :( i'm quite scared, our scores come out soon. i guess i'll know if i failed if the dean pulls me out of a surgery and starts wiping his office floor with my face.

my face isn't a swiffer mop, sir.Collapse )

so this entry isn't making sense and i'm not going in order bc i have to go to sleep early since i have surgery grand rounds at 7 AM tomorrow.

HOW DO THESE SURGEONS STAY ALIVE AFTER THESE WEIRDASS SCHEDULES. (keep in mind they pre-round at 5:30 AM and don't go home till dark) but damn, do they look good with those masks and scrubs on

anyway back to what i'm doing everyday

 
 
feeling: anxiousanxious
listening to: avicii - super mario world levels
 
 
Dr. Sasuke
that's pretty sad.

so guess what.. my finals for block 4 are in 2 days. this block was only 5 weeks. and being the retard i know that is not politically correct but idgaf right now i was, i didn't study earlier. so now i'm stuck staying up cramming my notes. and staring at pictures of the gorgeous TOP to calm myself down. ugh, my life.

the trashcan in the study rooms of our biomedical building is filled with empty cans/cups of red bull, boba, and starbucks. we are hyped up on sugar and caffiene but are still rageful at each other. someone will drop their pen or unzip their laptop bag a little too loud and someone is thrown out the window or shoved into the ventilation duct.

ok, i'm exaggerating. everyone is very helpful, giving out study notes and teaching each other. i did my share of teaching for the neuroscience part. but omg, it's so much material. so i do have moments of anger.

this block is all musculoskeletal. i really wonder who was the dude who was so fascinated by the way the body moved that he cut through ALL the muscles and followed every nerve and blood vessel that supplied it. jesus christ. learning it all gives me an ulcer. and yes i know it's caused mostly by bacteria h.pylori and not stress but let me have my moment ok. i have ~100 muscles to learn and all their blood vessels and nerve supplies. so that makes about ~200 things to memorize straight. and ontop of it all, i have to know biostatistics (one of the worst subjects in the history of subjects), neuromuscular disorders, related pharmacology, and other assortment of topics. ugh.

every night for the past week i've been going into the anatomy lab and practice IDing the muscles. oh god everything looks like beef jerky/carne asda/meat.


and our group just stare at the cadavers like that for 23 minutes straight. and one person will whimper and start to cry and that gets the whole circle going. except none of us are that gorgeous/flawless/unf. we are sad medical students.

OK so thank you for listening to me complain. aghh i can see they want us to know everything before they put people's lives in our hands. well, gotta suck it up and study hard for the next 48 hours. oh my face. it hurts.

THAT IS ALL GOODNIGHT.

ETA: so i wrote the above at 2 in the morning last night and then my leechblock app shut down the page (i have that thing installed to try to curb my internet problem; so it shuts down one of "time-waster" pages if i'm on it for more than 15 mins) and i didn't get a chance to post it. i remember that i made a post, so here you go. i did not bother to proofread it, so hopefully i don't come off as too insane/rageful/racist/sexy.
 
 
trapped in: study room
feeling: busystudy forever fml
listening to: BIG BANG - love song
 
 
Dr. Sasuke
23 February 2011 @ 11:37 pm
hello everyone ♥

i realized i read my friendslist and expect people to update with a stalkerish tendency, and yet i don't do the same with my own journal. and i might as well let you guys know what i've been up to, and leave a little entry so i can remember what i did back in the day. because i seriously can't remember my own life anymore. (i'm serious: my mom would go "do you remember that one time this happened and you thought this and i laughed at you and couldn't believe you were half my DNA?" and try as i might, i could not remember and i'd go "WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN, WHY DON'T I REMEMBER :(" and she'd reply that it was 2 years ago and i still don't remember.)

anyway. so i'm halfway through my first year in medical school! my classmates are awesome and we're having fun, despite studying a lot and not seeing what the sun looks like sometimes. and surprisingly, a bunch of the guys at ucla are cute and aren't socially awkward. it's block 3 right now, and we're learning diarrhea, obesity, and the sexy bits in your no-no area. idk why they thought this would be a good theme, because i see not much of a link between them all. and who knew diarrhea was so complicated. and awkward to study when i'm listening to sexy korean boys serenade me on my ipod.

aside from being awkward with myself, we've all become socially awkward. we would crack up at such lame jokes together. my friend would dance and chant "i'm doing tonic-clonic~ tonic-clonic~" or we would all laugh that someone accidentally called a part in the brain the corpus cavernosum. yeah. i guess that's how we learn. but seriously, we all know we're all going to end up ~forever alone~.

studying is ridiculous. i stalked a medschool forum before i started school, and people would say "you go into medical school thirsty for knowledge and want to drink from the fountain of knowledge of knowledge. medical school is basically a fire hydrant and slams water into your face until your skin is folded back and you tell it to stop but it won't because you took $120,000 out in loan money from it so you gotta drink all that shit up." ok, i improvised the end, but the it was the exact quote all the way until the fire hydrant part. so i had to make some sacrifices with my studying habits these recent few weeks because finals are coming. i used to read gossip all the time and perused the interbutts and cram last minute. but.. now, i rarely read gossip anymore, so idk what the stars are up to

do i know what slutty shenanigans miley cyrus has done? nope.
did i see lady gaga's outrageous new outfit or a picture of her walking lately? nope.
did some other celebrity couple divorce? idk.
does jen want brad back? yes. because she always does. and she's going to be forever alone.

i haven't gone to the gym for a while. surprisingly, a lot of diseases can be prevented by exercise, who knew! that's why PE was made such a big deal. i thought teachers just wanted to watch us get hit in the face with a ball and have the gym shorts ride up and give us wedgies that we awkwardly and discreetly try to pick. but anyway, medical school is making me unhealthy and i want to go run! but nooo, i have finals next week.

oh, and have i mentioned medical student syndrome? because we learn diseases all the time, we start to become paranoid that we have the disease. and since all of us have some slight of OCD to make it this far, some of us start thinking we have the infection/cancer/disease of the week. me, i thought i had breast cancer. i still palpate my boobs now and again. i think i feel my bone, but my mind is going "OMG IT'S A LUMP, OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG" despite still being in my 20s, asian, and having no family history. nonetheless, i was paranoid enough to ask a MD who was lecturing and she said "it's probably bone..because you're skinny..." and i think she wanted to say also "you don't have much boob as well, so who are you kidding" i almost took my shirt off and demand her to palpate my boobs to give me a confirmation.

we had physical exams and i palpated a stranger's penis and stuck my finger up his inguinal canal and asked him to cough. i stuck a speculum into a woman's vagina and looked for her cervix. i found it, and it wasn't that exciting looking. i was "oh. does it play movies? :D" and the supervising doctor slapped me. when we did a prostate exam (on a mannequin this time, whew), my classmate asked if we always had the patient in the same position for any rectal exam, the conversation went like this:

supervising doctor: for prostate, we have them bent over the table. when we check for infections or other things, we have the lie on their side and we sit near the examining table and check for the abnormalities.
friend: *to me* haha like on jersey shore.
me: haha yeah ronnie had some nasties up in his rectum so he lied on his side for the doctor to see, i remember.
friend: hahahaha
me: hahahaha
doctor: STOP, i don't want any jersey shore in here! *bodyslams both of us*

well, i have to climb off the internets and back to my notes. my finals are next monday-tuesday-wednesday, so i need to study forever! ughhh :( i alternate between freaking out and screaming that i don't know anything and wrapping myself in blankets and pretending i'm cocooning myself to become a beautiful butterfly.
 
 
trapped in: liberrry
feeling: busystudying
listening to: GD & TOP - KNOCK OUT
 
 
Dr. Sasuke
let me introduce you to my future husband ♥

TOP from big bang, flist.



i've been in love with him since i've seen him in one of big bang's older mv "lies" and was "who is that hottie, i would break state laws for him~" and just fangirling over him in their vids. he has a newish solo mv out and omg i fell in love with him again.

ok so the vid is a bit whack, and he wears the most godawful hat near the end that makes me wanna burn down the pick up artist's house for ever bringing that horrible fashion accessory into existence, but, overall, the song makes me wanna pop my booty and we all know i am not physically capable of that and he is just so goddamn sexy.



ffgfghhh the last like 7 seconds make me melt. what a hottie. omg i sound like i'm still a 16 year old fangirl :( but idc, he can rap all about how he's alexander mcqueen and his monkey magic when he's in his boxers in my bed

here's the GQ motherfucker dancing at our wedding.



and that's our luggage to the bahamas. cuz he treats me like a lady during our honeymoon. lol.

i need to calm down on falling in love with/getting a girl boner for hot korean guys. :|

i must be in the ovulation stage of my cycle, mmhmm.

ANYWAY, hi guys! how have you been? :) i seriously need to update this thing more. and use facebook more. i'm seriously in lurker mode for way too long..

i went to anime expo! it was so fun :) i haven't been in 2 years and i thought i might nerd it up again before i get enslaved by medical school, so it was so nice to see how big it got and try to catch what animes were popular. i still haven't caught up (i don't think i ever will :c) but i still managed to act a bit cool and go 'oooh i know that cosplay! :D" i really wanted to meet littlekuriboh of the yugioh abridged series, but i completely missed him (it even had his exact location listed in the program book and i didn't notice until i came home) and it has haunted me ever since :'(

maybe i'll make a con post later on :) i thought i left my camera at home for a good chunk of AX so i didn't get as much photos (and the some of the rest are on my phone) and dragon_gypsy took some for me (thank you bbdoll ilu ♥). so it'll be lacking :(

i'm going on a cruise to mexico with my family tomorrow. i should be packing right now tbh. it's all you can eat, 24-hour room service, big shows every night, gym onboard lol not gonna use that, lounges, ice skating rink (lol wut), and the ship is huge as two malls.. did i mention its all you can eat? holy crap, i'm gonna be a lardass when i come back and sink that ship. that iceburg that got titanic would be impressed.

I WILL ONLY HAVE TWO WEEKS LEFT WHEN I COME BACK FROM MY CRUISE BEFORE MEDICAL SCHOOL STARTS. :'c WHAT SHOULD I DO BEFORE I AM FOREVER IN THE LIBRARY AND CARCASSES OF COMPLETE STRANGERS ANATOMY LAB ALL DAY?
 
 
feeling: chipperchipper
listening to: epik high - wannabe
 
 
Dr. Sasuke
SO I'M LIKE HOURS/A DAY LATE. I WATCHED IT YESTERDAY BUT FORGOT TO SPAM OTHERS BECAUSE I WAS WRITING MY ENGLISH FINAL'S ESSAY :(

LADY GAGA'S TELEPHONE MUSIC VIDEO



wow, that's the ugliest preview still to put up. :|

but ahhhhhh i ♥♥♥ her. it's not as good as bad romance but OMG i love her outfits gffffghhh. wtf is with all the product placements tho omg want cigarettte sunglasses D: yesyes i'll get lung cancer but i'll be looking sooooo fab.

LET'S MAKE A SANDWICH.

ok back to studying/cramming for my hormones final tomorrow :'c according to what i've learned so far, my corticosterone level is very high right now :D :D :D

D':
 
 
feeling: stressedFINALS
listening to: lady gaga - telephone
 
 
 
Dr. Sasuke
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

OH MY GOD

I GOT INTO UCLA MEDICAL SCHOOL

OMG GFHFGDJGHFDGDFJGJHFDD I AM SCREAMING LIKE SUCH A FOOTFACE



AHHHHHhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH REALLY?????// I STILL CANT HABEEB IT eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek



I FEEL SO FAGTASTIC

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH DANCE PARTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYCollapse )



I STILL THINK THIS ACCEPTANCE LETTER IS A CRUEL PRANK WHY AM I SO PESSIMISTIC

I NEED MORE DANCE GIFS HELP ME PARTYYY AHHHH I LOVE YOU GUYSSS ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

:')))))
 
 
feeling: hyperFUCK YEAH FUCK YEAH
listening to: taeyang - wedding dress
 
 
Dr. Sasuke
11 November 2009 @ 03:11 pm
gfffgghh.



lady gaga is crazy. but good crazy. i can't stop watchinggg.. it's sooo pretty and creepy and awesome omg. i didn't even like the song when it premiered on the radio (stfu ryan seacrest, i KNO you gay) but now i have it on repeat ALL DAY. D: i think this bitch is flawless now NOOOO.

so guys, halloween costume next year, y/y?



no more personal space crowding at parties for me hurhur.

so whats up guysssss i got my mcat score back (after all that whining) and i got a 32R! (above 30 is considered competitive) *fagface* 8D i was so happy and gay and rolling on the floor like a tard holy crap. and i finished sending in my medical school secondaries so i'm waiting for interview invites (if i ever get any GASPWHEEZE DIE).. so yeah.

yayy veterens day! gonna be girly and bumalicious all day~ finished with a face mask, hair conditioning, showering forevers, moisturizing, and now my nails are drying. i forgot my black nail polish at homeee :(

brb gonna go learn the hip shake dance from bad romance and do it in the mirror of my room. oh god i got a gaga icon i didn't think i'd be such a stan :(

ETA: here is the mp3 of bad romance if you loved it :D ♥
 
 
feeling: ecstaticecstatic
listening to: lady gaga - bad romance
 
 
Dr. Sasuke
i swear to god, every time i have an important email to send through my school email, it almost always sends that email to my recipients' spam box. WTF, EMAIL, i check the box that says "high priority" not so you can think it has higher priority of not being read D:<

i'm sorry guys, but i couldn't take the RA position. thank you for still leaving an opinion though. :( ♥ i really was excited to start (i even was dreaming up way to make my hall theme to be superheroes/comic books and shopping around michael's pretending to be a craft nerd when i can't even make origami). in addition to finding out i don't get my own bathroom/shower in my room (that can cause complications when i bust someone in my hall), i'm graduating this year, doing research in a new lab, working as a biology tutor, and in the process of medical school application. :( i'd just die in the middle of my hall and set my residents rooms on fire out of rage (and charge them for it). and that's not fair to them. D:

so yeaaah, the email was to tell the resident directors i couldn't take the RA job. :( and i really need it to get through ASAP so they can find someone new to replace me. thankfully, i didn't cancel the contract for my apartment. but i'm afraid the housing people will make my apartment life hell for leaving them on such short notice

BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS: i get 3 weeks of summer left, i get to visit dragon_gypsy up in santa babebara (see wut i did there hurrrrr), less work for me, and uhh less stress? man i've been lashing out on people via text. but it's ok cause they're boys and boys don't have feelings.

i just resent the email. D: i know, i know, i could call them, but i prefer not to hear them call me derogatory names over the phone. :c at least if they did it through email, i could pretend they were noobs that thought the internet was serious business. and i'm a wuss. :(

in other news, i joined a dance class. it was my first time and i'm SO uncoordinated. it was a latin dance combo'd with something i don't know (the class is free, so idc :D), and for the life of me i can't shake/gyrate my butt or boobies. HOW DO YOU PEOPLE DO THAT? is it cause i'm asian........ cause i can't roll my r's either, but i notice all the mexicans can roll their r's (burrr~rrrito) AND they can booty/boobie shake so well it should be included in the medical profession to bring back the comatose. IS THERE A BONE IN MY BUTT/BOOBS I CAN SHAKE? cause i seem to be lacking it. it must be a linked gene with rolling r's.

SHOW ME YOUR BEST BOOTY/BOOBIE SHAKE.



HOW DO YOU DO THAT
 
 
trapped in: home
feeling: hotcali is on my head
listening to: my computer whirring and not sending emails
 
 
Dr. Sasuke
23 August 2009 @ 09:50 pm
I NEED YOUR OPINION/ADVICE/ASL:

a resident advisor (RA) is: kinda the big bro/sis of the (usually) freshman dorm. an RA is an upperclassman that is trained to deal with emergencies, emotional problems (homesickness, breakups, bad grades), and helping first years adjust to college. they organize events and activites, and are always there for their residents. they live in the halls to make sure the rules are enforced.

ARE YOU OR HAVE YOU EVER BEEN AN RA? OR KNOW ANYONE WHO IS?

HOW BUSY IS IT? CAN YOU STILL BE A SUPER NERD? HOW WERE YOUR RESIDENTS?

my sudden interest in the RA job is because just 3 days ago, i got offered the position at the freshman dormitory. earlier in the year i tried out for the job to get free and board (i act like i'm poor when i'm not, idk why; it must be the asian in me). cause if i got the RA, my year at school would be free - my tuition is already covered by scholarship, but my apartment is RIDICULOUS. so i end up paying still. so i tried out, and i got on the alternatives list, since they thought i was good, but they didn't have enough spots. so it was like a waitlist.

i was cool with it and took it as a rejection and renewed my contract with my apartment. and now they suddenly want me to be RA for the upcoming school year. and give me until tomorrow (monday) at 5 PM. OH THANKS GUYS, THAT'S SO CONSIDERATE.

here's a list of pros and consCollapse )

PLEASE LEAVE ME YOUR ADVICE OR COMMENTS IN THE SPACE BELOW (i sound like a youtube vlog). THANKS BABES♥

IF YOU HAVEN'T ENCOUNTERED AN RA BEFORE, JUST TELL ME WHAT KIND OF THEME YOU WOULD WANT YOUR HALL TO BE.

I WAS THINKING OF:
1. LIBRARY. SO EVERYONE HAS TO STFU ONCE THEY WALK IN SO I CAN STUDY AND SLEEP.
2. something racist
3. pictures of the verizon guy beat up/dead all over the walls. cuz verizon sucks major ass. i swear, every time i see a commercial and their claims that their service works ~everywhere~, i want to punch him in his ugly jumpsuit
 
 
trapped in: home
feeling: confuseddeal or no deal?!
listening to: koda kumi - taboo
 
 
Dr. Sasuke
guhhh just finished my MCAT (medical colleges admission test) like 5 hours ago and i'm soooooo- well i'd say dead (i thought i would be) but instead i feel oddly... empty? LIKE THERE'S NOTHING TO STUDY FOR NOW. wow i've reached the bottom of the nerd hole *cries into hands*

thank you to those lovely bbs that wished me luck ♥ (and the ones who remembered and texted me too, even though they don't know i have a journal c:) i think it really worked, i think i got one of the easier versions of the test. :') now hopefully i didn't fuck it up with my stupid.



cause that was me yesterday. except i didn't have a sexy swest (sweater + vest).

i kinda review-crammed everything yesterday. omg i'm so glad i didn't have optics or lens on the physical science section. i can't say much else about it cause i was sworn to secrecy about the test like a cult. but yeah, i crammed a bit too much, i went to bed tired (lot of people swear to not doing anything the day before). i chose to be extra nerd, i mean i only get one chance right? (i mean i hope to only take it once omg. i would not want to relive the horror)

:( i had a MCAT dream last night too. i was in a professor layton-like setting, where i'd talk to people and they'd give me a puzzle. instead they'd give me MCAT questions. man, i was pissed. and, like the professor layton game, it didn't have a "release a rapist on the villagers so they'd stfu" option.

that thing was intense. they took my fingerprint every time i went in and out of the testing room. and a camera was on me the entire time (and a mic in the pacing/freak out/waiting room). at first it made me paranoid, but after a while i just didn't care and started being gross. cough. yeaaahh.

cut for nerdtastic rantingCollapse )

oh well. now i just have to wait 30 days for my score. i can only hope for the best until then. and add the finishing touches to my applications. sighhh.

AND FINALLY BE A BUM!!!! omgosh yes... i can finally vegetate reading non-educational books and watching videos not on the circulatory system :') and finally stop refusing my friends' parties and hangouts to sexydance with books.

i just noticed that now i have all the time in the world to surf the interbutt, all the stuff that distracted me during studying is not as interesting anymore. wtf, world.
 
 
feeling: contemplativenow what do i do with my time
listening to: keri hilson - knock you down